It happened on Tuesday. I called the agency to ask if there are some news about my application at cbrains. 
The job interview was three weeks ago and I hadn’t heart of them. Somehow, I knew the outcome but I wanted to be sure.
“They had two strong candidates and they decided to go with the other one.” my agent said. “It was not a decision against you.”
Of course not. But it felt that way, definitely. I thought I would be a good fit and I would love to do work there.

These setbacks always push a trigger in me. Especially when it comes to my future job. Immediately I felt like I am not good enough. That there wasn’t a company that needed my skills and expertise. That I didn’t belong here. 

I tried to stay as positive as I could. To focus on what I have learned and which experience I have gained through the application. But I felt hurt and I was sad too.
And there was another feeling. Also familiar as I’ve been in these situations many times before. I was very calm I was very clear I was very determined. 
I felt as if I was going out into a blizzard, I wrapped my coat tighter around me. 
In these moments when I feel rejected and almost like to giving up there is something special in it. It’s like finding a gold nugget in the mud. 
It’s the moment when I pull myself up again to get back in the race. Life had thrown some shit at me but I didn’t knock me out. 

These setbacks bring me closer to me. They force me to be even more clear with my vision to appreciate me even more and value my gifts. 
I will sharpen my thoughts and I will be better prepared for the next round. Because I am stronger and wiser now.

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